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I decided to do this, because what the heck. These quotes are considerably tough.
1. "Beating you is Apple II easy"
2. "Just don't forget to hydrate the coal dust!"
3. "Feel air in your lungs"
4. "That's technology, isn't it, HAYO!"
5. "le gorilla face" - Permutation of the "Rustled Jimmies" internet meme to mess with Reddit.