After a very long time . almost a year and probably a few months
i was somehow able to finish something in my life that i had planned .. ( hell yeah i did planned to reach 15k because i saw some Screenie of someone who reached 15k too ) but Sunflower Power Series was not really meant to show how many flags i can go ~
the videos were made by me and most of the videos are simply some of the pre-recorded videos that i picked just to be able to tell a story probably because i hate everyone around me . yeah i do hate everyone . i do hate the world and if i were to find ways i was able to blow it all on those zombies on survival endless. i hate everyone i hate the world around me but at the same time i love them because i still has hope that i could somehow find a place in this family where i belong.
nobody just cannot be trusted to say their real feelings , nobody would speak what they really want. a lot of people said i'm probably just some loser spoiled brat who thinks time pass by so easily and i can just keep on staying the way i am.
but who the hell care .
i always write everything that pop out of my weird mind whenever i write so i need not to edit stuff i wrote nor check the grammar and stuff because that's just not me.
a lot of stuff had happened to me. some loved ones dying and leaving and sh** stuff but then again i cant even win a heart of a girl i love . no matter how hard i try i guess i was just a loser in front of her . then because of all my random decisions in life i ended up being an irregular student . i hate being broken hearted but i guess i simply has that kind of stuff in me that never seem to be appealing to others.
i always love weird stuff. things that everyone would say worthless and things other people could probably ignore and just left around untouched. i love stuff that would always be a very challenging path and sometimes i cannot even recover from the problems i created just to give myself some thrill in life.
every single part of me just keeps on collapsing and everything that i have been using to cover up my life full of lies is starting to reveal itself and i probably know that everything will definitely come to an end . i am starting to fall apart and lose hope but i guess i was able to find another way to help myself hold on.
i really want to leave but where should i go.
i guess its not really easy to live a life
where the only person whom you can talk to is none other than yourself
i need to change
and i guess i know know where to start.
i hate the world so badly that i guess that's the only reason i still love it
"I love her so much, it ends there"