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Chinese Plant Almanac Entries Simplified

So pretty much I've made up my own version of PvZ 2, and I had put the Chinese Plants in the game. I kept their names the same, as they weren't that ridiculous. But then I thought to myself, "These translated almanac entries make zero sense. I should simplify them." And so I did. And here they are, for all of you (Please note, not all of them are very good):

  • Bamboo Shoot

Originally a sun thief, Bamboo Shoot turned over a new leaf after being caught too many times. To this day, he still helps to defend the lawn with his powerful tunneling capabilities. His story most likely moved you, like he moves the earth.

  • Fire Gourd

Fire Gourd was originally an avid acrobat. However, his tendency to, well, breathe fire was an enormous risk to others in the troupe. But eventually he was able to use his power to fight zombies, and find his true value.

  • White Radish

After studying Qi-gong for many years, White Radish has still only mastered one move: Not moving.

  • Lord Bamboo

Lord Bamboo used to live in a very big house in fireworks town. He loved children, and would often bring them fireworks to help celebrate the Spring Festival. His grandson, Bamboo Shoot, went to learn martial arts in a faraway land, and he still wishes to see him again one day...

  • Vigorous Broccoli

Ever since he was a little sprout, Vigorous Broccoli had dreamed of being a superhero. He always tried the hardest he could. And finally, when he grew up, he never became a superhero. But hey, he had gotten a nice school of justice trophy.

  • Heavenly Peach

Heavenly Peach was once a demigod, who worked for the Chinese goddess Wangmu Niangniang. Or at least, that's what her resume says.

  • Pomegranate Machine Gun

Pomegranate Machine Gun "learned" all his skill from the library, from a book called "1000 ways to eat pomegranates". However, he decided to not read the parts about eating pomegranates. It was probably for the best.

  • Oak Archer

Throughout his childhood, Oak Archer believed he had taken out a great number of zombie knees. 998, to be exact. Little did he know, all he was doing for those years was breaking windows.

  • Coffee Bean

Given his hyped up lifestyle, Coffee Bean usually wakes up his friends with their favorite movie phrases. It usually isn't that helpful, but hey, they get to see the figure of a bird, er, bean when they wake up.

  • Acid Lemon

Although Acid Lemon likes the water, he prefers to stay on land. He may like playing in the water and loves to fish, but to be quite honest, he doesn't have a good enough figure for it.

  • Small Lotus

Small Lotus was a member of the machine gun club, as evidenced by his revolver shape. Of course, his brother Lily Pad didn't really approve of such things, and after finding out about the rising zombie threat, he decided to leave the machine gun club behind, and actually do something with his life.

  • Loquat

With her ability to rotate very quickly, Loquat has always dreamed of being a ballerina. "I just don't know why people won't hire me!" She says, not realizing she has no ballet experience and creates a destructive tornado when she spins.

  • Pineapple

After watching plenty of cartoons as a child, Pineapple had always wished he could fly. He wanted to be able to soar through the air like a dragonfly! And after trying, he actually found he could! By spinning his leaves at regular and frequent intervals, of course.

  • Anthurium

Despite the two of them never agreeing on tie colors, what movie to see, or what restaurant to eat at, The positive and negative anthuriums can of course always work together to defeat zombies.

  • Asparagus

Throughout his childhood Asparagus enjoyed his reputation as "king of vegetables". Of course, nowadays no one calls him that. But sometimes, just sometimes, he wishes people would remember his blood on the battlefield.

  • Saucer

People usually mistake Saucer for an alien. But if you got to know him you'd find he's really just very shy and introverted. Don't tick him off though, his stun beam is not very fun to get hit by.

  • Ground Cherry

Ground Cherry's part of the "3 flame musketeers" with Snapdragon and Torchwood. Although, ever since an incident where they burned down the Tiki Lounge, and the fact that he himself is not flaming, he's kinda starting to think about leaving the group.

  • Horsebean

The Horsebeans were voted best pilots in flight school, which made them eager to form a flight team. They did, but it had it's drawbacks. Like how most of them didn't want to sit in a bumpy plane.

  • Plantern

Plantern has gotten over his fear of himself. Now if only he could get over his fear of clowns...

  • Freeze Mushroom

Freeze Mushroom really admires his brother, as he himself hates winter, and the cold. The worst part is when he wakes up on a winter morning to see a thick layer of ice covering the fireplace. It's genuinely awful.

  • Flame Mushroom

Flame Mushroom has gotten tired of summer. Not only does his air conditioner break down, but he sweats everywhere! And somehow his brother likes summer.

  • Chestnut Squad

Although they've always lived together, the Chestnut Squad don't like it. They're constantly fighting, and one of them takes up way too much room. But if you ask their longtime friend, Bamboo Brother, he'll tell you the truth: The rent of that place is just too expensive.

  • Tornado Acorn

A huge sports fan, Tornado Acorn especially likes boomerangs. He even met up with Bloomerang once for a boomerang competition, but Bloomerang threw boomerangs in a cross pattern, and beat him. But eventually Tornado discovered his true talent: frisbee. Unfortunately his makeshift frisbee still returned to him after throwing it...

  • Rafflesia

A park employee, Rafflesia likes to blow bubbles, and the kids at the park really enjoy it. However, he has a dream. To one day sell balloons...

  • Carrot Missile Truck

Carrot Missile Truck was a huge fan of robots growing up. He had tons of robot toys, robot games, and even tried to get a robot tattoo! However, he ended becoming a scientist later on, and researched, of course, robotics. And one day... He tried to apply robotics to himself. And he became... OP Prime. Or at least, that's what he calls himself.

  • Bamboo Brother

Bamboo Brother really can't decide what to do with his life. One day, he's practicing martial arts, the next he's rehearsing a stage play about rescuing pigs or something. Would you like to hear the transcript? He thinks you should.

  • Rose Swordsman

Not only is he a brilliant swordsman, but he's also a painter! He even painted a picture for Sunflower once, despite her saying it was junk. I heard it was hanging in some museum or something now.

  • Magic Mushroom

Magic Mushroom was always the most popular mushroom in his hometown. And he just got more popular after becoming a magician. Don't open his hat though. It doesn't contain a rabbit.

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