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The Honest Truth About PvZ2 Plants (joke)

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  • Peashooter: One pea at a time? This is awful!!!!
  • Sunflower: Useless, useless, USELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This plant, unlike Plants vs. Zombies 1, produces twice as much sun, only to be useless due to Sun-shroom and Twin Sunflower. Also, why does this go before Peashooter in the almanac? GET SOME FRIGGING CONSISTENCY!!!!!!!
  • Wall-nut: Come on, ARRIVE ALREADY! IT'S BEEN FOREVER!!!!!!!
  • Potato Mine: Why is he so lazy! COME ON, I NEED YOU NOW!!!!!!
  • Bloomerang: Why is the almanac inconsistent? Why does it shoot three zombies? Why do A.K.E.E. and Laser Bean exist to make this even worse?!?!?
  • Cabbage-pult: Another Peashooter? NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Iceberg Lettuce: Freeze... one... zombie... at... a... time?!?!?! Good God!!!! Stallia, Stunion, Hurrikale! SOMETHING BETTER!!!!
  • Grave Buster: No coins? Can be destroyed? SO STUPID! Why does this take so long to recharge? It's USELESS due to the fact that other plants can attack graves!
  • Twin Sunflower: Why does this cost 125 sun instead of 100? Why is its recharge speed so slow??!?!
  • Bonk Choy: Its range is too short!
  • Repeater: How original. Why not just use TWO PEASHOOTERS?!?!?
  • Snow Pea: This isn't worth 4 bucks! Not with Winter Melon!!!
  • Kernel-pult: WHY CAN'T THIS SHOOT BUTTER ALL THE TIME??!?!
  • Snapdragon: Why does this undo frost? Why can't it kill a Basic Zombie without getting eaten??!
  • Power Lily: Get more of what's already given for 3 bucks? NOOOO!!!! EA IS SO GREEDY!!!
  • Spikeweed: Can't kill a Basic Zombie. What the crap?!?!?
  • Coconut Cannon: TOO EXPENSIVE!!!!
  • Cherry Bomb: THIS TAKES TOO LONG TO RECHARGE!!!!
  • Spring Bean: 1zombie1tile. USELESS!!!!
  • Spikerock: WHY CAN IT ONLY TAKE THREE HITS NOW?!??!
  • Threepeater: Three Peashooters?!??!?
  • Squash: It attacks one Basic Zombie that's being Spikerocked to death instead of a dozen Bucketheads to the right... for 3 bucks!!!!
  • Split Pea: USELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Chili Bean: Only kills one zombie and can't stun machines??!?!
  • Torchwood: No splash damage? Why?!?!?!?!?
  • Lightning Reed: WEAK!!!!
  • Tall-nut: COME ON!!!!!!!!! I NEED YOU NOW!!!!!!
  • Jalapeno: WHY IS THIS A PREMIUM WHEN CHERRY BOMB EXISTS!?!?!??!
  • Pea Pod: ANYTHING IS BETTER THAN THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Melon-pult: Can't kill a Buckethead??!?!?
  • Winter Melon: Too expensive and unoriginal!!!
  • Imitater: The same plant... for 3 bucks. Stupid, stupid, STUPID!!!!!!!!
  • Laser Bean: Weak but somehow overpowered... how???!!?
  • Blover: Too slow!!!!!
  • Citron: Just use Coconut Cannon!!!!
  • E.M.Peach: Only for Far Future?!?!?
  • Starfruit: This can't shoot forward? NOOO!!!!!!! SWELL MY REAR END, THIS IS FOODFIGHT QUALITY!!!!
  • Infi-nut: Too weak!!!!!!!
  • Magnifying Grass: Too costly to power!!!
  • Tile Turnip: TOO EXPENSIVE TO BE USEFUL!!!!
  • Hypno-shroom: Not worth 4 bucks!!!!!
  • Sun-shroom: Just use Twin Sunflower!!!!
  • Puff-shroom: WHY CAN'T THIS LIVE FOREVER!!?!?
  • Fume-shroom: A weaker Laser Bean??!
  • Sun Bean: Doesn't work on Gargantuars, THE ZOMBIES THAT NEED TO EAT IT MOST!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Pea-nut: Peashooter is crap, Wall-nut is crap, this is crap. And for three bucks.
  • Magnet-shroom: Not enough metal to be worth a seed slot.
  • Chomper: USE ANOTHER INSTANT KILL!!!!
  • Lily Pad: Only usable in one world? Screw you, PopCap.
  • Tangle Kelp: Drowns one zombie when DOZENS ARE ON SCREEN!?!?!?
  • Homing Thistle: Not worth 109 gems. That's it. It just doesn't work as a concept.
  • Bowling Bulb: The multicoloring reminds me of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, but that's better than THIS ATROCIOUS PIECE OF GARBAGE!!!!
  • Guacodile: It bites zombies' pintles. This is inappropriate!!!!! Who thought this was safe for work??!?!?
  • Banana Launcher: I'd rather play Donkey Kong right now. That's a better game, and it has more primitive technology. Seriously, it's too slow AND A CRAPPY COB CANNON!!!!
  • Ghost Pepper: 109 gems is too much for a limited time plant!!!! ITS RANGE IS UNEVEN!!!!
  • Sweet Potato: BRING BACK GARLIC, THAT WAS ACTUALLY GOOD!!!!
  • Sap-fling: Costs money AND limited-time? POPCAP IS THE WORST COMPANY TO EVER EXIST!!!!!!!!!!!
  • To be continued...

NEVER, EVER, EVER TOUCH THIS GAME!!!!! IT IS WORSE THAN BREADWINNERS, JOHNNY TEST, AND ISIS CONBINED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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