This page is a list of all the descriptions of the plants and zombies that appear in Plants vs. Zombies: Official Guide to Protecting Your Brains.
Plants
Note: All plant descriptions are made by Crazy Dave.
Note #2: Crazy Dave makes additional random notes about some plants.
Note #3: Grave Buster, Split Pea, Explode-o-nut and Giant Wall-nut are grouped with the Plants vs. Zombies 2 plants instead of the Plants vs. Zombies plants.
Day
Peashooter
Peashooter shoots peas. If they shot shoes, then they'd be called shoe shooters. But they don't so they aren't - will I have to explain all the obvious stuff like this to you? Peashooters are your go-to plant when stopping zombies They grow quick and shoot peas real fast.
Sunflower
Sunflowers don't shoot anything at zombies, but they do make lots of sun, which will help your other plants grow big and strong. Sun is the plant version of meat.
Trust me on this one.
Cherry Bomb
Cherry Bombs look all sweet and nice, but they can blow up zombies. They have a short fuse, so they explode almost instantly after you plant them. Some say I have a short fuse, but if your supermarket said they don't sell saucepan hats you'd have knocked over those tins of beans as well.
Wall-nut
Wall-nuts help defend your plants from zombies (unless they are jumpy zombies). Wall-nut is a deep thinker and difficult to get inside of - I tried once, and I hurt my teeth. I thought about trying to hit one with a saucepan, but then I remembered that I freak out if my saucepan isn't on my noggin at all times.
Potato Mine
Potato Mines will explode when those stupid zombies tread on them, but they can take a while to arm themselves, so I suggest you plant them before zombies get right in your face.
The worst thing about a zombie in your face is the smell. They got some toilet-breath, those zombies.
Snow Pea
The Snow Pea slows zombies down by freezing them. Turns them into a big zombie ice pop! One time it was a really hot day and I had an ice pop. Since the zombie apocalypse my freezer doesn't work and everything melts. It makes me sad when lovely ice pop juice drips everywhere.
But it still tastes nice when I lick it of the floor.
Repeater
The Repeater fires peas twice as fast as Peashooter, so he's real good at keeping zombies away. Sometimes I think Repeater keeps everyone away because he's scared of showing the real him. Repeater just wants to be loved.
Chomper
Chompers can eat a zombie whole. Yeah! How'd you like getting chewed up, zombies? Problem with Chomper is that he takes ages to chew his meals, so while he's finishing up he can get attacked. It's important to chew food properly though.
I once ate a whole loaf of bread without chewing and immediately regretted it.
Night
Puff-shroom
Puff-shroom may not have a big range, but mushrooms grow well at night (they sleep during the day, just like my no-good cousin Ralph. He's so lazy). Sometimes the zombies attack at night - maybe they get bored out there is no good TV to watch. How am I supposed to know?
I'm a gardener, not an expert on zombie social life.
Sun-shroom
Sun-shroom gives your plants sunshine, which is good when there is no sun, like at night. Or Thursdays. I guess he gives away all that sunshine because he hates it. Sounds like a nightmare to go on holiday with, right?
Fume-shroom
This guy puts out a bad fume, which is good news because the stink can go through screen doors, ladders and other things zombies defend themselves with. Not so clever now are we, Mr. Zombie? Standing on my lawn. Holding a door. Getting mushroom smells on you.
Hypno-shroom
The Hypno-shroom makes zombies turn around and attack other zombies. He only has a single use, but Hypno-shroom is one pretty persuasive guy. I wonder how well Hypno-shroom would do if he ran for President of the USA?
Scaredy-shroom
This one's good for early defence but, as his name suggests, he gets scared and hides when zombies get too close. Can you blame him? Zombies are not nice and I would get scared too if it wasn't for the fact that I have a special saucepan hat to protect my brain-parts.
Ice-shroom
When you plant the Ice-shroom it freezes all the zombies for five and a bit seconds. Pretty cool huh? I don't understand why Ice-shroom looks so grumpy all the time - maybe it's because he's cold?
Maybe I should knit him a scarf or something.
Doom-shroom
Doom-shroom can destroy tons of zombies at once - though he leaves behind a massive crater that you can't plant anything on and looks a real mess. I suggest that if you survive the zombie attack, you should fill the crater with water and turn it into a pond.
Maybe get some goldfish?
Pool
Lily Pad
If you have a pool or a pond, plant a Lily Pad - then you grow non-water-loving plants on top. It's pretty much like a plant version of a boat. A green boat, made out of plants. I hereby name this ship SS Leafy. May God bless her and all who sail on her.
Squash
The Squash has short range, but does a ton of damage to any zombies that shuffle too close. Squash will squash the first zombie that gets in his way. It has great squash skills that it learned at the University of Squashing while doing a degree in Advanced Squash Studies.
Threepeater
This guy has great range and shoots peas in three lanes at once. Apart from that he's just like regular Peashooter, although unlike Peashooter he likes to read books in the quiet times when he's not helping you defeat zombies.
Tangle Kelp
Tangle Kelp lives in water and will pull in the first zombie that gets near it. I'm not sure what happens then, as zombies don't need to breathe. Maybe it just talks to him for ages? Or maybe they just sit there in silence, looking at each other, waiting for the end.
Jalapeno
Jalapeño is a spicy number. When he explodes, he destroys all the zombies in his lane. I imagine he says something like 'Que pase un buen dia!' when he blows up. That means 'have a nice day'. Spanish was the only school subject I was any good at.
That was probably because they let me wear a sombrero during class.
Spikeweed
Spikeweed hurts zombies' feet (that'll teach them not to wear shoes) and will also burst tyres, if a zombie turns up driving a vehicle. Zombies also hate how he tastes so won't eat him.
I feel the same way about fruit.
Torchwood
This guy turns peas that pass through him into flaming peas that do double the damage. Who knew hot peas could be so dangerous? I'll be sure to exercise extreme caution next time he's around peas. Torchwood looks pretty angry, but I guess that's cause he's on fire all the time.
Being on fire all the time would put anyone in a bad mood.
Tall-nut
Tall-nut is a taller version of Wall-nut, so he's good at defending your plants, even from zombies that can jump or vault. Take that zombies! They won't be so smug with their jumping skills when they get a face full of Tall-nut.
Fog
Sea-shroom
This is the aquatic version of a Puff-shroom. He might be called a Sea-shroom, but he lives in your pool. It makes me sad that I've never seen the sea. Maybe one day, when this is all over, me and Sea-shroom can take a trip to the seaside.
Plantern
If it's dark or foggy, Plantern is your man. Or plant. Whatever, stop trying to confuse me with your labels. This is exactly why I was asked to leave a restaurant that one time. If you're going to have really vague signs up on the doors, then you have to expect people to use the wrong bathroom.
Cactus
The Cactus shoots spikes, which is good. It can even shoot spikes in the air, which is even better if there are balloon zombies about. Why would a zombie be in a balloon? Well, it's a real nice way to get a better view of your brains.
Blover
These guys blow away fog and balloon zombies. They're also pretty handy to have on a hot day, as they can blow a nice cool breeze into your face. I also use them to cool down a cup of coffee if it's too hot, or to blow out the candles on my birthday cake if I'm out of breath or can't be bothered.
Starfruit
Quick to recharge, Starfruit shoots stars in five different directions. Those directions are: north, east, south, west and north-ish. See? I'm an expert at map directions as well as plants.
I'm clearly a useful guy to have around in an apocalypse, even if I do say so myself...
Pumpkin
You can use Pumpkin to protect any plants you grow inside him. He's tough and scary, but don't let that put you off getting to know him better - his insides make a great soup or pie. Just don't mention that to him or you'll never be friends.
Magnet-shroom
Magnet-shroom removes metal things the zombies carry, like ladders, pickaxes, helmets and trash cans. It could probably even steal the fillings out of a zombie's mouth. I'm not sure though.
Do I look like some kind of zombie dentist to you?
Roof
Cabbage-pult
This guy hurls cabbages at zombies. You'll often find him on the roof, though I'm not sure why. Maybe he's trying to adjust the TV antenna to get a better picture, or maybe he's checking for Santa and the reindeer. Who knows?
It's a crazy world we live in.
Flower Pot
Like the Lily Pad in the pool, Flower Pot lets you plant on the roof. Handy eh? I once tried to plant on the roof without Flower Pot, but I ended up with so much soil on the roof that it collapsed.
My bed ended up buried in earth and I had to sleep in a cupboard.
Kernel-pult
Kernel-pult lobs corn and butter at the zombies. Sounds like all the ingredients needed for a corny-buttery-zombie party! I don't know to be honest. I don't get invited to parties much these days (everyone seems to be a zombie).
Coffee Bean
Coffee isn't just for waking me up in the morning - it also wakes up mushrooms during the day. I usually make my own coffee at home. One time I went to some fancy coffee place and got real confused about what I was supposed to order.
I ended up drinking coffee out of a bin.
Garlic
If you've got a ton of zombies in one lane, plant some Garlic. When zombies eat him, they make an 'ewwwwwwwwwww' face and go into other lanes. Pretty handy to have around, though I wouldn't want to live with stinky Garlic. I would have to wear a clothes peg over my nose all the time.
Umbrella Leaf
This guy provides more than just shade. Umbrella Leaf protects other plants around him from Bungee Zombies and basketballs. The shade thing is pretty handy too though. I should know. Last time I fell asleep in the sun, I woke up looking like a lobster. My hands turned into claws and I had a shell!
Then I woke up and realized it was just a terrible dream.
Marigold
The Marigold chucks out gold and silver coins. The bad thing is that it can take ages to get round to it. Maybe Marigold is too buy reading the business section in the newspaper, or checking share prices. Or maybe Marigold just likes thinking about coins?
Melon-pult
The Melon-pult lobs watermelons at zombies, which squish on impact (the watermelon, not the zombies, duh-uh) and do heavy damage to zombies nearby. It's also fast, which has given Melon-pult a bit of a big ego if you ask me. It's all 'I'm the greatest' or 'I do so much damage, look at me'. Melon-pult needs to learn modesty in my opinion.
Crazy Dave's Twiddydinkies
Gatling Pea
The Gatling Pea is an upgrade for the Repeater and four peas at the same time. That's a lot of peas. If you left the Gatling Pea alone for a couple of hours, you would have enough peas to fill my car. I know this for a fact, because I now have a car full of peas.
Twin Sunflower
This guy gives out twice as much sun as normal Sunflower. That's cool and everything, but I find twins a bit creepy to be honest. It's like they're two people. Other things I find creepy are clowns and most puddings.
Gloom-shroom
Gloom-shroom fires out heavy fumes in all directions, but the fumes don't go far. They also have to be planted on a Fume-shroom to work - take my word for this. I once tried planting a Gloom-shroom in one of my shoes and all I got was a shoe full of dirt.
I still wear the shoe though. Dirt is nice.
Cattail
Cattail is an upgrade for the Lily Pad and can shoot at zombies in any lane. Even Balloon Zombies! Don't be fooled by the 'cat' part of his name and the fact he looks like a cat. Cattail won't drink a saucer of milk, or play with a ball of yarn. In fact, Cattail makes me re-evaluate everything I thought I knew about cats. And tails.
Winter Melon
Like the Melon-pult, Winter Melon does heavy damage to zombies. And because this guy is frozen, he also slows zombies down. You have to plant him on a Melon-pult though, because he likes to be near his friends.
I wish Winter Melon had more self-confidence.
Gold Magnet
This guy is an upgrade from the Magnet-shroom. Gold Magnet collects coins and diamonds for you, which frees your time up to do other things. Other things I like to do include thinking about stuff and eating stuff.
Spikerock
Spikerock is an upgrade from Spikeweed and will burst tyres and hurt zombies' feet. Nothing hurt zombies' feet more than Spikerock, except making them walk for miles and miles in shoes that don't fit properly.
Or maybe making cruel jokes about their mothers.
Cob Cannon
Cob Cannon is another upgrade. Hooray! Plant him side-by-side with two Kernel-pults. He's slow to recharge and fire, but does massive damage and can fire at any zombies. Despite all this, Cob Cannon is a really nice guy if you spend time getting to know him properly. Just don't let him read you any of his poetry.
Imitater
Imitater is a potato that can imitate any other plant. Apart from itself, obviously. That would be silly - a potato imitating a potato? That would just be a regular potato then. At least, I think so. Oh boy, now you've made my brains hurt.
I was only trying to help you and now I have a headache.
Plants vs. Zombies 2
Bonk Choy
During the Ming Dynasty, ancestors of Bonk Choy were studied by the Emperor's personal cabbage expert. They call him what they called his ancestors - the King of Cabbages! Or sometimes the Brassica Boss (but I prefer the first one as I'm not sure what the other one means).
Coconut Cannon
Coconut Cannon just loves to help you defeat zombies. It really makes his day. It's all he thinks about. You may be asking why this hairy little chap is so obsessed with zombie destruction? The sad truth is that he's empty inside (once you've drunk the tasty milk that lurks within, that is).
Iceberg
Poor little Iceberg used to be friends with Snow Pea and Winter Melon. One evening the three of them went out for dinner and Winter Melon ordered a salad. Iceberg was sure he knew some of the lettuce in the salad and got into a big argument with Winter Melon. Snow Pea just quietly pushed herself around the plate.
Snapdragon
Snapdragon thinks its name is off-putting to a lot of people - 'snap' makes it sound grumpy, which it is not. It's lovely. Snapdragon has helpfully suggested some more friendly sounded names you can call it, like Dragonface or Petal-features.
I like to call it Trevor.
Spring Bean
Always full of energy and bounce, Spring Bean is a real early riser - he's always getting up at dawn. 'The early bean catches the zombie trying to eat brains!' says Spring Bean. It's an odd saying, but exactly what do you expect from a talking plant?
Peapod
Peapod might seem like a catchy name, but it took a botanist guy ages to come up with it. I still think 'pea-cekeeper', 'pea-chy' or 'pea-nut' would be better, but I suppose that's why nobody will let me be a botanist.
Explode-o-nut
He's a rare variety, but if you should come across the Explode-o-nut it's worth knowing what he does. He's basically a red version of Wall-nut that explodes like a Cherry Bomb when a zombie touches him. Why is he red? I think he's embarrassed about something, like forgetting to wear trousers once when he left the garden.
Giant Wall-nut
Another rare variety, but good for squishing loads of zombies at once. Giant Wall-nut looks like a normal Wall-nut, but acts like a Squash and Jalapeno. He sounds like he has some kind of crazy mixed-up identity crisis, yeah?
Like that time when I put on a dress and made all the plants call me 'Crazy Dave's Mum'.
Bloomerang
Bloomerang always returns to you, no matter what! You can always chuck him away but he always comes back. Even if you hide. Or go on holiday for a couple of weeks. Bloomerang is dedicated like that.
Chili Bean
Hey hot stuff! I know you have a debilitating flatulence problem, but try not to let it get you down, OK? I've heard that some people out there actually quite like that awful bean bum smell. So cheer up and let rip, little smelly guy!
Grave Buster
If you plant a Grave Buster on a grave, it gets rid of the grave. Simple, right? It may sound simple to you, but the other day I tried explaining it to my best friend Gary. Gary just didn't get it, no matter how many times I explained.
Gary is a chair though, so maybe that's why.
Power Lily
Power Lily is the best at doing what Power Lily does. But what Power Lily does is always refer to Power Lily in the third person. Power Lily drives the other plants crazy with that. But hey, it's Power Lily. What can they really do? Power Lily says: nothing.
Split Pea
Split Pea sees what you're doing. Even when you don't think he's looking, he's got his eye on you. You just watch your step, pal. He's like a fortune teller: sees all, knows all. And then sees some more.
Lightning Reed
There's an old saying that goes 'Lightning never strikes twice'. THIS IS LIES. Lightning Reed has been on strike at least fifteen times - often protesting about the poor treatment of reeds in the workplace, or the selection of biscuits available to workers during coffee breaks.
Magnifying Grass
If you ask me, the problem with Magnifying Grass is that he's always making a big deal out of little things. He can't help it,, he was born that way. When you're born with a magnifying talent you either make small things big, or focus the rays of the sun and burn stuff.
Zombies
Note: All zombie descriptions are made by "the government" featured in the Official Guide to Protecting Your Brains book.
Note #2: Crazy Dave makes additional random notes about some zombies.
Day
Zombie
The most common type of zombie you will encounter. They are not particularly quick and can't defend themselves very well. Although this makes them sound like a puppy, DO NOT MISTAKE THEM FOR A PUPPY. Puppies like dog food and zombies like brains (see below).
LIKES: Brains. Any kind of brains - cold brains, hot brains, bad brains, brain salad (minus the salad).
DISLIKES: People who don't have any brains; loud music past 10 o'clock at night.
Flag Zombie
When you see a Flag Zombie it means even more zombies are coming. Although he looks like a regular zombie, he's a little bit quicker* - so watch out. Why is he quicker? Maybe the wind gets in the flag and pushes him along, like a ship. A zombie ship. With legs.
LIKES: Brains and flags (preferably flags with brains on them).
DISLIKES: Flags with skulls on them. They don't have any brains inside!
* Flag Zombies move faster than ordinary zombies and cover more ground. Two or three Peashooters work better that one.
I eat food of the floor!
Conehead Zombie
The Conehead Zombie wears a traffic cone on his head. He's also a zombie, which makes his name even more suitable. Apart from looking really stylish and setting new trends in zombie headwear, the cone also protects his zombie head - making him harder to defeat than previous zombies.
LIKES: Playing party games that involve cones: stopping traffic.
DISLIKES: Boring hats that aren't really tall, orange or made of plastic.
Pole Vaulting Zombie
Who doesn't like being out in the fresh air, getting some exercise? Not all zombies are couch potatoes - this kind of zombie likes to pole vault. This means he can easily skip over parts of your garden in order to get to your house more quickly and eat your brains.
LIKES: Brains, especially the brains of gold medal winners.
DISLIKES: People who don't queue properly (for brains); sitting around watching TV (unless it's a programme about brains).
Buckethead Zombie
The origins of the Buckethead Zombie are unclear - perhaps he was a window washer before zombification. Or maybe he just wanted to stand out from the crowd. Or maybe he forgot about the bucket entirely. Either way, the bucket makes this zombie tougher to defeat. Perhaps if you had a magnet it would be easier?
LIKES: Sunset walks.
DISLIKES: People hitting the bucket on his head. It's very loud and gives him headaches.
Night
Newspaper Zombie
What's worse than a zombie reading a newspaper?* A zombie who is no longer reading a newspaper - as it gets him angry and he'll charge at you. Sure, you could let him keep his newspaper so he can finish the crossword, but he'll still want to eat your brains. So beware!
LIKES: Reading upside-down horoscopes.
DISLIKES: People looking over his shoulder while he reads his newspaper - that's a one-way ticket to getting-your-brains-eaten-ville-central.
* The newspaper is useless against plants that can lob things. It's also useless as an umbrella.
Screen Door Zombie
The Screen Door Zombie liked the last house he visited so much, he kept the screen door! And ate the homeowner's brains, obviously. The door protects this zombie from certain things, but not everything. Our scientists tried throwing breadcrumbs at him but that didn't work - he just ended up looking like a big fish finger.
LIKES: Eating brains through a screen door (he thinks it makes him looks sophisticated).
DISLIKES: Glass or wooden doors - it's impossible to eat anything through them unless they've got a letterbox. Eating brains through a letterbox just looks silly.
Football Zombie
This zombie appears to be a fan of the 'American' style of football. How very international of him. Our first encountered the Football Zombie at night, and his helmet and padding make him tougher to defeat, but once the padding is gone he's just like any other zombie. Just make sure he doesn't get a 'touchdown' on your brains.
LIKES: Playing hard, and eating hard (we're not how you eat brains hard - perhaps you do it in the dark).
DISLIKES: People who don't give 110% (of their brains).
The helmet is metal, so try a Magnet-shroom.
I once saw a hedgehog!
Dancing Zombie
Just like the rest of us did in the carefree days before the apocalypse, this zombie likes to dance. Unfortunately for us, when you see a Dancing Zombie it means he'll have four backup dancers not far behind him. Zombies aren't really ones to dance alone. They get very self-conscious and feel embarrassed.
LIKES: Dancing. Favourite disciplines include the brain-bump, freestyle brain-dancing and the tango.
DISLIKES: Anyone who says disco is dead. Disco is undead.
Backup Dancer Zombie
Backup Dancer Zombies tend to surround the Dancing Zombie. They'll probably cheer the Dancing Zombie on as well, if you leave them long enough - though our scientists advise against this (what with zombies eating your brains, etc).
LIKES: Dancing the grey matter cha-cha-cha.
DISLIKES: People calling them backup dancers. They're background artistes.
Remember - backup dancers work as a team. Stop one, and the rest stop too!
I once stopped sleeping for a whole day!
Pool
Ducky Tube Zombie
If your garden has a pool, there's a good chance you'll see a Ducky Tube Zombie. Sometimes a few of them will appear at once from under the water. Our scientists advise against challenging them to a game of water polo or who can hold their breath the longest (the zombies always win that one because they are dead and don't need to breathe).
LIKES: Being wet.
DISLIKES: Towels.
Snorkel Zombie
The Snorkel Zombie is another pool pest that our scientists have observed.* Because they have a snorkel, they can move underneath the water in a pool, so they have an annoying habit of sneaking up on you. More observations readers may ask ' Why does a zombie have a snorkel, they don't need air? '- our scientists have concluded that this zombie just likes biting things.
LIKES: Aqua-brains.
DISLIKES: Aqua-lungs.
* Yeah, well, I observed that Snorkel Zombies can be hit by catapult plants and dragged down by Tangle Kelp.
Snorkel is a funny word! Thrrrrrrrp.
Mullet Zombie
For some zombies, eating brains is just not enough in life. Some, like Mullet Zombie, ask much bigger questions than 'Braaaaaaaaaaaains?' Mullet Zombie asks, 'Should my hair be long or should it be short?'
Sadly, he could never decide, and so chose instead to go with a mullet. Sure, his hair might look funny - but it'll be the last laugh you'll ever have when he's eating your brains.
LIKES: Anything denim; fingerless leather gloves; loud rock music.
DISLIKES: People who can actually decide on a haircut.*
* Hey, just wear a saucepan over your head like me. Then it doesn't matter what haircut you have BECAUSE THE SAUCEPAN NEVER COMES OFF!
Zombie Bobsled Team
If you spot an ice trail, then there's a good chance the Zombie Bobsled Team won't be far behind. Our scientists found that melting the ice can stop the bobsled team, though not by pouring hot water in the ground - it takes too long to boil the kettle each time.
LIKES: Iced brains.
DISLIKES: Brain soup.
Remember, there's no 'I' in team, but there is in brains! I think. How do you spell things?
Dolphin Rider Zombie
What could be more delightful in the middle of a zombie apocalypse than a dolphin? The gentle, relaxing call of this majestic creature soothing your ears and nerves. Well unfortunately the dolphin is also a zombie. Sorry.
Dolphin Rider Zombie is much the same as the Pole Vaulting Zombie, except that in this case the pole is a dolphin, and it can sing. And isn't made of wood. And it shoots water out of a blowhole above its face. Apart from that they're identical.
LIKES: Bottle noses.
DISLIKES: People who are at 'cross porpoises' with him. Ha ha. That's just a little Government joke.*
* Someone told me a joke once. It was hilarious.
Fog
Jack-in-the-Box Zombie
Don't be fooled - the Jack-in-the-Box Zombie is not going to give you a present, even if it is your birthday. The box* explodes, which is good if he's around other zombies but not so good if he's queuing up for a hot dog at a fairground. There'd be mustard and buns everywhere.
LIKES: Jack-in-the-boxes, especially if they include Jack's brain.
DISLIKES: Empty boxes.
* The jack-in-the-box is metal though, so you can take it away with a trusty Magnet-shroom...
Balloon Zombie
It's not just hedges and swimming pools that zombies can pop out of. Our scientists have observed this zombie floating around tied to a balloon, making him harder to defeat.* How did he get the balloon? Perhaps he was at a fancy dress party and won it for having the best costume (a zombie).
LIKES: The air up there.
DISLIKES: The brains down there (he can't reach them).
* Not so tough if you have a Cactis or a Cactus. They can pop balloons. Wooo-haaa!
Digger Zombie
So far we've educated you on zombies that come at you (most of them) and zombies that are above you (see previous page). Now we'd like to make you aware of the zombie that digs tunnels under your lawn and pops out near your house. He's basically like a big mole, apart from the fact he waves a pickaxe around and wants to eat your brains. So nothing like a mole, really.
LIKES: Getting his dungarees dirty.
DISLIKES: Not having any soil to dig through. He just gets bored when that happens.
Magnet-shroom, Gloom-shroom, Starfruit and Split Pea will do the job here.
Pogo Zombie
The Pogo Zombie uses his stick to jump all over your garden. He makes a nasty mess of your lawn and plants, and also makes a really annoying noise.
Sproing! Sproing! Sproing! Sproing! Sproing! Sproing! Sproing! Sproing! Sproing! Sproing! Sproing! Sproing! Sproing! Sproing! See what we mean? If you've found this paragraph annoying to read, imagine what it's like to hear him jump around all over the place. Sproing! Sproing! Sproing! You get the idea. *
LIKES: Going sproing! Sproing! Sproing!
DISLIKES: Not going sproing! Sproing! Sproing!
* Stop the sproinging with a Tall-nut! Please. Do it for me. Sproing.
Zombie Yeti
As far as we know, nobody has ever actually encountered the Zombie Yeti, but he is believed to be a tough old chap. Our scientists say he probably has to be, what with being all hairy and coming from the Himalayan mountains. Zombie Yeti is a rare and curious creature. Curious about the taste of your brains, that is.
LIKES: Yodelling (he grew up in the mountains after all).
DISLIKES: Being called the zombie Abominable Snowman. Snowmen have carrots for noses. Does he look like he has a carrot for a nose?
I call him the A-zombie-able Snowman. Har har!
Roof
Bungee Zombie
Like the Balloon Zombie, the Bungee Zombie attacks you from above. He uses a bungee rope to drop down and either steal things from your garden or drop other zombies onto the lawn. Before he appears, you may see a target and hear a 'YEEEE-HAH!' - although our scientists have noted this is also true of overly enthusiastic cowboys.*
LIKES: Living life to the full (well, the afterlife at least).
DISLIKES: People who snap rubber bands. That's just cruel.
* I want to be a cowboy spaceman tennis player.
Ladder Zombie
We can only speculate what the Ladder Zombie used to be befor get turned zombie. Did he clean windows for a living? Or cut hedges? Or was he just trying to get a good view of an exciting sports event? What our scientists tell us know is that he uses the ladder as a shield, as well as for climbing over any obstacles you put in his way. If only he'd just clean the windows of your house, instead of trying to eat your brains through them.
LIKES: Ladder martial arts. Rung-fu?
DISLIKES: Magnets, people who don't say sorry when they sneeze.
Bad news. Snow Peas and flaming peas can't hurt ladder. That's one tough ladder. Who'd have thunked it?
Catapult Zombie
Like the members of the Zombie Bobsled Team, this is another zombie that can drive. How he got a driver's licence is beyond us. It makes a cruel mockery of the road laws of our green and pleasant land, not to ,emotion basic health and safety.
So far, our scientists have also been unable to determine why he fires basketballs from his vehicle - perhaps he knows someone who runs a sports shop and can get them at a discount price?
LIKES: Slam dunks; brain rebounds.
DISLIKES: Running out of basketballs.
I love basketball. Especially when they get a hole-in-one. Fore!
Gargantuar (and Imp)
As the name suggests, Gargantuar is a big chap - all zombie muscles and stamping. You'd think he'd rather be down at the gym lifting weights than standing outside your house trying to eat your brains, but clearly zombies are a dedicated lot. No pain, no brain! Wabbo.
He is normally seen kindly giving a piggy-back to a tiny zombie passenger called Imp, whom he will throw at your house (which is less nice of him). Imp may be small, but don't underestimate him.
LIKES: Stamping on things; playing the ukulele.
DISLIKES: People who can't look past his bulging undead muscles and see the sensitive zombie within.
Want to take out Gargantuar with one hit?
Try Lawn Mowers, Pool Cleaners or Roof Cleaners! Not so tough now are we, Mr Big Stampy Feet?
Dr Zomboss
Meet Dr Edgar George Zomboss, the chap who seems to be in charge of all the zombies. With a pleasant-sounding name like Edgar, you'd have thought he would be quite receptive when the Government asked to meet with him and discuss all this 'zombie apocalypse business' over a nice pot of tea and some cucumber sandwiches. But no, he wasn't having any of it (not even when we assured him that the crusts would be cut off the sandwiches).
Dr Zomboss likes to get around in the Zombot, a giant robot that fires ice and fireballs when it bends down (our scientists have a theory that this is when it's at its weakest). Quite why the good Doctor needs a giant stomping robot to get around when we have an excellent bus and train service to use, we simply do not understand.
LIKES: The in-depth discussion of dead things; world domination.
DISLIKES: Not dominating the world.
Special zombies
Trash Can Zombie
Sadly the Trash Can Zombie isn't here to pick up litter, or to offer helpful tips on how to recycle your vegetable peeling or glass. If you've been keenly studying this book you will have realized by now that this zombie wants to eat your brains. He just uses the trash can to protect himself, not tidy up. What a shame.
That said, Trash Can Zombie is all about recycling waste. In this case he's keen for you to recycle the 'wastes' brains sloshing about in your skull into something better - his dinner.
Target Zombie
Target Zombie holds up a big bullseye target as a defence. Ha! The joke's on him; he's basically a walking target. Or a shuffling target, at least.
Peashooter Zombie
A rare sort, Peashooter Zombie has a Peashooter for a head and fires peas. This is why our scientists have called him Peashooter Zombie. They're very clever people you know.
Now, you might enjoy peas with your fish fingers, but when you combine a pea with a zombie you're in big trouble. Big green trouble. That fires peas. Those fish fingers don't sound so appealing now, eh?
Wall-nut Zombie
Wall-nut Zombie has a Wall-nut for a head. He's a tough fellow to crack! Get it? Wall-nut? Crack? Who says people who write zombie survival guides for the Government don't have a sense of humour! OK. I get it Mister Government book-writing guy!
Being half nut, Wall-nut Zombie knows how to easily crack a tough shell and get to the nut inside. And by shell we mean your skull. And by nut we mean your brains. Sorry about that.
Gatling Pea Zombie
Another rare-but-dangerous zombie. Gatling Pea Zombie fires four peas at a time. If only he wasn't trying to eat your brains he would be quite handy to have around. Especially if you wanted some peas to go with your fish fingers.
Or tacos. Pea tacos are a thing, right?
Tall-nut Zombie
Because he has a giant nut for a head, Tall-nut Zombietakes a lot of damage before you can defeat him. Just be careful not to spend too long laughing at him, or calling him names like 'nut face', 'shell features' or 'the lanky dead'.
Jalapeno Zombie
Jalapeno Zombie has a Chili pepper for a head. While he may be good for spicing up food, he also has the tendency to explode all over your lawn. It's a sad fact of the zombie apocalypse - food will be significantly blander and less spicy. But at least you're still alive (for now).
I can still get meat sticks though right? RIGHT?
Squash Zombie
Another unpleasant vegetable-zombie hybrid, Squash Zombie shouldn't be confused with the sport of squash (or the drink). At least if he was playing sport he wouldn't be trying to eat your brains.
Giga Football Zombie
One of those 'American football' types, thankfully he's a very rare specimen. Our scientists note that he's fast and tough - and possibly says things like 'hut hut hut' as he runs around.
I slept in a hut once.
Giga-Gargantuar Zombie
After months of careful observations and dozens of scientists getting their brains eaten, we conclude that this zombie is one of the toughest out there ('there' in this case meaning your garden). You can spot him by his glowing red eyes. Maybe he's been crying over all the scientists who got their brains eaten? Or perhaps he suffers from hay fever. HAY!
You say that, government type people - but Lawn Mowers, Pool Cleaners and Roof Cleaners can beat them instantly. Hooray!
Catapult Baseball Zombie
This rare specimen lobs basketballs during any baseball matches you play. Does anyone else find American sports confusing?
I'm never confused. Except for sometimes when anything happens.
Baseball Zombie
Not much is known about this fellow, but we can say for certain that his baseball cap has a picture of a brain on it and he wears the cap the right way round. What a sensible chap he is.