HD Imp Worker Wrench
They can be tough nuts to crack.
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This is all of the storyline dialogue from Plants vs. Zombies.

Adventure Mode

Level 1-5

Crazy Dave came to greet the player and present him or her with a Wall-nut Bowling mini-game. This is only said on the first playthrough.

Greetings, neighbor!
The name's Crazy Dave.
But you can just call me Crazy Dave.
Listen, I've got a surprise for you.
But first, I'll need you to clear your lawn.
Use your shovel and dig up those plants!

(after digging up all Peashooters)

Ok goody, now for the surprise...

The following is said on every playthrough.

We're going BOWLING!
HERE, TAKE THIS WALL-NUT!! (puts a Wall-nut into his hand)
Why'd I put a wall-nut in your hand?
Because I'm CRAAAZY!!!!!

Level 1-9

The zombies have left the first note in front of the house: 

"Hello, we are about to launch an all-out attack to your houze. Sincerely, the Zombies."

Level 2-1

Crazy Dave came to introduce the Night to the player.

Evening, [Playername].
Those zombies just won't let up, will they?
You'll notice that fighting zombies at night is different than in the day.
For one, you won't get any sun falling in the sky.
You can still get sun from sunflowers, though.
And lucky for you, you got yourself some puff-shrooms.
Plant as many of those as you can and you'll be A-O-GOOD.

Level 2-2

Crazy Dave appears to talk to the player.

Hey, you've collected $... in coins so far!
When you collect $750, I'll sell you something really neat-o!

Level 2-5

Crazy Dave appears, to introduce Whack a Zombie.

Ever play a game called Whack-a-Zombie?
It's just like huntin' squirbos.
You know, those furry little rodents that dig holes in your lawn?
Yeah, just like that, but instead of squirbos, it's zombies.
And instead of a shovel, it's a mallet.
And instead of ME, it's YOU!

Level 2-9

The zombies have left the second note in front of the house:

"Hello, We wood like to visit for a midnight znack. How does icecream and brains zound? Sincerely, the Zombies"

Level 3-1

Crazy Dave appears to explain the Pool.

Looks like the zombies gave up attacking your front yard.
Now they're trying your backyard.
And to top it all off, you can't even use your mushrooms!
'cause they'll fall asleep during the day!
Well isn't that just dandy!

Level 3-4

Crazy Dave talks about his Car Key.

Hey, you found my car key!
You know what that means...
Crazy Dave's Twiddydinkies is open for business!
Have a look! See if you can't find something you like!

Level 3-5

Crazy Dave talks about Big Trouble Little Zombie.

Funny thing about the zombie process. Sometimes it makes 'em come out real little.
Real little and REAL MEAN!
Defend your shins!

Level 3-9

The zombies have left the third note in front of the house:

"Hello, We herd you were having a pool party. We think that iz fun. Well be rite over. Sincerely, the Zombies"

Level 4-1

Crazy Dave talks about the Fog stages.

You know, they used to call me "Fog Man"
'cause I would hang out in the fog and JUMP OUT AT PEOPLE!
Ah, those were the days.

Level 4-4

Crazy Dave talks to the player after they find his Magic Taco.

I must have it! I'll give you $1000!
Why'd I give you so much money for a taco?
Take a look around my shop! You'll notice I got some new items in stock!

Level 4-5

Crazy Dave talks about Vasebreaker, for his first batch of vases.

Me and my buddy Harvey Flaxcaster used to break vases when we were bored.
Well Harvey's outta town, so you're coming with me, Harvey #2!

Crazy Dave discusses the second batch of vases.

Man, you broke those vases nice and good!
Broke 'em like the time I broke my back digging through those trash cans!
Here, I brought you some more vases.
Gotta be careful about breaking them too fast, though.
You don't wanna end up with more zombies than you can handle, huh huh.

Crazy Dave discusses the third and final batch of vases.

All right!
This should be the last of 'em.
Break these, and you'll be all done!

Level 4-9

The zombies have left the fourth note in front of the house:

"Hello, This iz your Muther. Please come over to my house for "Meatloaf" Leave your front door open and your lawn unguarded. Sincerely, Mom (not the Zombies)"

Level 4-10

Crazy Dave discusses the darkness mechanic for the level.

Why'd it get so dark all of a sudden?
This can't be good.
Oh well, hope you survive the night!

Level 5-1

Crazy Dave talks about the Roof.

Whoa! They even found a way onto your roof!
Those are some persistent zombies, dude.
You'll need to use cabbage-pults here due to your roof's angle.
Remember that, and you're good to go!

Level 5-4

Crazy Dave introduces the Zen Garden after the player obtains the Watering Can.

Hey, check it out, you found a watering can!
In honor of this, occasion I present you: Your very own Zen Garden!
Hey, I'll even start you off with a couple of sprouts!
Grow them to full-size, and they'll reward you nicely!
Have fun!

Going to the Zen Garden part of Crazy Dave's Twiddlydinkies for the first time

Hey, welcome to the Zen Garden section of my shop!
I'll give you some fertilizer for stopping by!
Take a look around and see if there's anything else you like!

Level 5-5

Crazy Dave concludes talking about the Zen Garden. This only is stated on the first playthrough.

Zen Garden is pretty nifty, huh?
You can visit it any time from the main menu.
But enough of that! It's time to defend your house!

The following is said on every playthrough.

I have to warn you...
You are going to hate this next level.
Why? Because it's non-stop bungee zombie after bungee zombie.
I hate those confounded bungees!!!
I hate them!!
Hate them with a passion!
And a vengeance!
A-Whoop-a-dee-doo! Here come those idiots now!

Level 5-9

Dr. Zomboss has left the fifth and final note in front of the house:

"Homeowner, You have failed to submit to our rightful claim. Be advised that unless you comply, we will be forced to take extreme action. Please permit your home and brains to us forthwith. Sincerely, Dr. Edgar Zomboss"

Level 5-10

Crazy Dave tries to warn the player about Dr. Zomboss.

Uh oh, he's here.
Better get ready.
It's gonna be one heckuva fight!
Listen, though, I know what his weakness is:
You have to hit him in the pancreas!
No, that was a different guy...
You have to... um... kick him in the...
You have to press up up down down left right...
Wait, I remember! It's...

Crazy Dave is stolen by a Bungee Zombie before he can finish his statement.

Second Playthrough

Upon completion of the game once, playing Level 1-1 again has Crazy Dave introduce the mechanics for future Adventure Mode playthroughs.

Man, those zombies just keep a-comin'!
This time around, I wanna pick some seeds for you!
I choose... these three!